On many levels, somehow, 1999 to 2000 was an important pivot point for each and everyone of us and for humanity in general: from fear of apocalypse to conspiracy theories, from conscious awakening to exponential mass production and mass consumption, from huge tech improvement to social media networks bringing us much closer and much further apart, from realizing that our planet’s balance is in big danger to willing to understand who we really are. This century didn’t start very smoothly.
Something very special happened to me at that very moment:
The turn from 1999 to 2000 was when I met my life partner, my husband, the father of my sons but also, my guru, my teacher, my spiritual kick off guide, the one who opened me up to exploring another level of consciousness for myself and for my perception of the world around me. He is the one who unlocked and opened many doors. The soil was fertile, I was already on the quest to discover these depths of consciousness. Yet, he was able to articulate and make sense of so many things I was sensing but couldn’t grasp. He had already walked a long way on this path. In the turn of the century, he took me with him.
It all started with a conversation about women and men’s relationships. I could not believe what I was hearing: finally on this planet, I meet a man who is in touch with his feminine energy, his sensitivity, his flow and who is not ashamed to express it. (Things have changed for the better since then - thank God!! - but remember 20 years ago, it was not that common to hear and see a man welcoming fragility, not being judgemental towards women’s emotions and articulating our beautiful differences with clarity and understanding)
It all started when he told me that no matter the challenges, he had committed to stay in a relationship with a woman a couple of years before, to understand each other’s dynamic, differences, polarities, complementarities, to grow together, to find a better way to understand each other on a mental and an emotional level. They did and then their couple set apart in deep and beautiful respect.
He had understood that most of the time, men and women don’t respond from the same center and this is one of the reasons why couples can feel they are not being understood by one another. Most of the time, when they are in disagreement, this dichotomy turns into pointing fingers, blaming each other, accusing of being selfish, calling each other’s name and in the end being miserable with the other and with oneself. Does it sound familiar?
But all this frustration could be reduced, if we could simply start by observing and acknowledging where the flow of communication comes from, what center is leading: the emotion, the body, the mental or a combination of these? In which order? If one speaks from the emotional intelligence and the other fetches their expression from a mental level, what may look like a dialog is actually two monologues, two parallel highways never meeting.
After this conversation, I knew he was a very special person that I wanted to be and to grow with. I knew our relationship would also be very special. It has been and it still is.
He is the one who taught me to trust on a higher level, to trust life, to trust the process, to trust a gut’s feeling and most importantly to trust myself.
And when I said, ‘’I want to live an extraordinary life.’’ He nodded and responded, ‘’You will have it, trust me’’ And we did.
He is the one who always challenges me, supports me, sees my potential, believes in me unconditionally and gives me unconditional freedom to explore and grow. And I have done the same: we work on transforming possession of one another to empowerment, guilt and shame to reflection and understanding, attack and defense to empathy and deep listening. Our life is a constant exploration to find the balance.
Yet we are absolutely not perfect. Sometimes we mess up, we disagree, we lose patience, we fall into old patterns, we get mad at one another, there were times of serious doubts. And it’s ok. It is part of the process. But after the storm has calmed down, we are willing to understand what piece was missing for the scale to be in full balance.
I think this is what love is: a fragile balance but a balance that has the potential to live long if one works on it.
What about you? What was your turn of the century story? Was there a transformation, a shock, an awakening, or simply a crazy party, a awareness, a denial, a meeting, a quest?
Tell me your story of the pivot point from 1999 to 2000.